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Without divulging all of what happened, is happening, or going to happen; I could only lay in my bed, under the white sheets, shielding my eyes from the light; and praying and pleading with God to save and extend my earthly life. I had to both prepare to die and try to heal and live. I was initially overcome with fear and regret; even regret I had not watched the Sunday episode of The Bible; and especially that I was so mired in sin.

In these physically, emotionally, and spiritually painful hours; I warred with what to do with the remaining time of my life. I both prepared to die and left instructions on how to carry-on my existence and work; and I also prayed to God to save and spare my life. I was remorseful and fearful; but also tried to be productive and peaceful.

The pain was increasing and I was prepared, having lived 52-years as if they were 104; to die. I lay in my bed as if it is my “deathbed” or even a tomb. I thought about my Savior Jesus and how His earthly life ended and I prayed, still pray, will always pray; He forgives and accepts me. I had pleaded for a different life, a changed life, or a new life and now I am going to have it; either in this life or the next life.

At one point, to both ease the pain; and in the hope of peace; I fell asleep. I was uncertain if I would even wake-up or rise again. My body is dying. I was relieved and pleased when I did arise. I am hopeful, I am being granted a second-chance at life. But, as soon as I think I am free from pain and to live; my attacking heart, blacked-out mind, and the evil spirit comes again and I fear for my life; even my eternal life.

Now, I only want to be alone with Him; God, the Son, the Holy Spirit, so I may pray and pray that the pain ceases, the Holy Spirit replaces me, and Jesus please accepts me into Heaven. I believe I may have seen Hell, and I fear and hate I put myself there. I pray God, “Forgive me and accept me.” I don’t want to be “scared to death”; I want to be “scared to life!”

Mark Anthony DiBello

CONTACT: Phone: 310-817-0160 E-Mail: markanthonydibello@markanthonydibello.com © DiBello Production Co. Inc. - 501 (c] [3] nonprofit

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